I have being hesitating whether or not to write this post. I spent much effort covering the sore and hollow, and by writing this is like digging myself a deep hole of hollow to bury myself.
I am seriously in a contradicting mood right now. I felt happy, yet sad at the same time.
Happy, because I’ve finally manage to finish all my subjects in pursuing an engineering degree, without failing any subjects.
I know myself well. Engineering is not my field, 100% not. I never like it. I picked up this course because Penang offers wide opportunities for engineers with all the big factories around. Also, it’s another profession which offers high paid salary, which attracts me the most.
Studying is hard enough. What’s worse is studying in things that you have zero interested in. Exam period have been specially hard for me, not because I get stressed over exams but it’s the guilt feeling that I might have made a wrong decision picking up this course as I look at the notes fill with stuffs that I don’t like and have no interest in.
Although I didn’t achieve a high CGPA like what my other friends striving for, but at least, I graduated without failing any subjects. I am so proud of myself already.
That, is what I am happy about.
Yesterday, I sent Fenn off from Melaka back to her hometown, sent Net off to KL, and sent LWL to the bus sentral just now. My friends are leaving one by one, and I felt like I didn’t even have the time to know them more but they are gone now. I really missed everyone.
All of us will be back to our own hometown or some designated place for work, and luckily there’s still one chance for us to meet up with each other during convocation 2 months later, but I am sure things would be different by then.
This, is what I felt sad.
True friends are so hard to be found. My definition of friends isn’t someone who can be make used of, so I don’t expect to make any friends in the future working environment. My friends are all I have now, and they only gets lesser.
Tired.
It’s good that I won’t be starting to work so soon. Happy that my family supported my decision (barely). I need a break, to slowly chew on my past, and think about my future.
Should I work as an engineer, a job that I would never like? Or should I just venture out in some other fields that I am at least interested in.
I, don’t know.
on May 19th, 2008 at 2:36 am
lol..i think most of us havin the same feeling…yeah i oso wan take a break before start to work…after graduate must find some chances to meet up k!
on May 19th, 2008 at 9:07 am
If you want the money, then go for the engineer…..
if you want to follow your heart, it’s up to you if you really want to.
In a corporate environment, it’s hard to find a friend, best you stick to friends that you know well…..even if they live 1000km away………try to keep in touch………occasionally go meet up with them, by hook or by crook………
I made that mistake, that’s why now even if I am working, I always find time to meet my friends…….
I have loss too many friends over the years……..
on May 19th, 2008 at 10:11 am
just try to find the job u like beside the engineer…me oso do like that
on May 21st, 2008 at 1:01 am
kljs - Precisely, totally agreed on what you’ve said. Let’s see how well can I maintain the relationship..
seke - The problem is I don’t even know what do I really like..
on May 28th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
It’s very difficult to make decision, as your knowledge now is engineering but not others.
People always describe working environment as hell, but I really don’t know how is it looks like.
I am glad I made right decision taking IT.